Weblog

Sunday, 30 November 2008

  • A Sleeper's Dream, A Dreamer's Sleep

    As I sleep in the darkness
    I dream a dream of life
    As I wake in the morning
    I live a life of dreams gone awry

    Sometimes I lose myself to loneliness
    In a sea of people all around me
    Sometimes I find company
    In an empty room

    Two natures war inside of me
    Trying to take control
    One nature is only human
    The other is God controlled

    I wish that I could be successful
    In not failing most of the time
    I accept that I will have failure
    More than I will have success

    Relying on myself has failed me
    I have to turn it over to God instead
    If I am to hope of a future
    I place my life in His hands

    I live to serve my Saviour
    Jesus Christ the King
    I am but a humble servent
    Still stumbling over His grace

    I know that I did nothing to gain it
    But He gave it anyway
    I know I do nothing to earn it
    But He gives it always

    Peace flows down around me
    Healing my wounded spirit
    Love flows through me
    Fixing the hurt inside

    Michael Bovender

Thursday, 17 July 2008

  • Currently Listening
    I Turn To You [Audio CD] By Richie McDonald (of Lonestar)
    see related

    What? Me Worry?

    Once a long time ago I felt like I had no worries in the world. That everything would just work out and things would go on. Amazing what happens when you grow up and reality sets in. With gas and food prices rising and the income coming in is staying the same it is very easy to worry about what is going to happen if things don't improve. In fact that is what I had been worrying about here lately. It got so bad that I felt like nothing could turn it around. My faith in God shaken and my outlook on life bleak I felt like nothing would improve. I had literally lost my way. I know some people feel that it is not good for a christian to admit that sometimes they feel lost but I disagree. I am not perfect therefore I do not present myself as perfect. My most recent struggles have had me on the ropes but God does still hear me. I know because of two songs that I have heard recently that reminded me of how good God really is. John Waller's song "He still calls me son" reminds me that none of us are forever lost to His love and Richie McDonalds song "Faith" reminds me why it is important to have Faith. So even though I have fears and worries I am reminded once again that like my kids say God is bigger than the boogie man.

Thursday, 15 May 2008

  • Break the mold, find the treasure

    Earlier I posted about how I have been dealing with depression and basically having a bad day. Thanks to a few friends and their words of encouragement I can look beyond the things that have been holding me down. I realized today that I had been focusing on so much negative stuff that I missed the treasures in front of me, my family. Thank you all for listening when I was in anguish but more importantly, thank you for those who gave me a swift kick in the pants.

    In God's Love, Michael

  • Walking in molasses and other crazy things

    For the last couple of months I have been struggling with some massive doses of depression. I have called into question my very ability to be a able provider for my family. I have struggled with a job that is not bringing in what it needs to bring in and it doesn't seem like there is any vible alternative out there. In short I am walking in molasses. Every decision I have made in the last few years seems to have gotten me stuck even further in this quagmire and not out of it like I had hoped. I have brought this before God so many times that sometimes I feel like all I'm getting is a busy signal or worse no signal at all. To be honest it is getting harder for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel and that scares me. In so many things and in so many ways I feel like I have lost my way and I don't know how to get back. The crazy part about it all is that I know God exists, I believe Jesus died for my sins, I know who Jesus is, but it seems like I no longer know who I am. That is where I am now, somewhere on this planet trying to piece my life back together and I don't know how to get a stable connection to God anymore. Anyway enough of my ranting. I hope all is well with everyone and until the next blue moon.

    In God's Love, Michael

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

Top Tags

[no tags]

kenobijinn

  • Visit kenobijinn's Xanga Site
    • Name: Michael
    • Location:
    • Birthday: 8/29/1974
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 3/17/2006

The Path

I will always be on the road going through the vally called life until I reach my home in heaven. Until that day I will always use what gifts and talents God has given me to share Christ with others whereever that may be. Here are some things that I have learned so far on this journey. Love everyone, you never know whose life you might change or how they can change yours. Never give up, the day will come that God will reward you for your faithfulness. Cherish your family, you never know what tomorrow holds or how long you have with them. Be a servant first, a leader second, more lives are changed that way. Never stop learning, there is always something new that can help you grow in faith and ability. Don't doubt yourself, God has a plan and purpose for all things in all ways, give Him the chance to show you what it is.

About Me

  • I am someone who God has saved from eternal torment but who still struggles in the daily grind. I know by God's grace and leading I can do all things through Him.